Asking for what you want is hard.
It wasn’t when we were kids. Back then we all said
I want you to be my best friend or I want a Tonka Firetruck with the silver hubcaps or I want to be a mermaid Without hesitation.
But then one day we didn’t turn into a mermaid or we got sox and greenstamps for Christmas or our best friend broke our little heart. Then we started getting scared of saying what we want.
Maybe someone even taught us to hate what we wanted: to fear our own power and desire. It almost doesn’t even matter what it was. Somebody said you could never get into film school, that ballerinas ruin their bones, or too many kids want to be marine biologists. Maybe someone tried to convince you to be a pharmacist or an ESL teacher or a lawyer when you had no passion or proclivity for any of those professions. Maybe no one encouraged you at all. It was never about jobs though was it? It was about desire, and the question of whether desperately loving and wanting things is good or bad. Maybe you got taught it was bad to some extent.
Your “hobbies” got derided and everything you wanted seemed to be in spite of the world. Your dreams turned slowly into secrets. Even if somehow you had the strength to take people or ideas that challenged your needs with a grain of salt, one day the insidious thing happened.
The call is coming from inside the house! The voice is coming from inside your head. And the voice says No. The voice says keep it a secret, because then you may never have the things you most deeply want, but at least you won’t have tried and failed.
And I say: Mr. Quiet ‘No’ Voice,
In this song I say “shylapie approves” – you should substitute your own nickname for yourself.
Ask for what you want. Want more. Be in love with your own want.
Then bring that to the stage, ‘cause that’s the show I need to see and the show I burn to be in.
You are Perfect.